Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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