I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
