This girl is more easily done than said...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
