forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
