theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
