I look better un-naked...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize