Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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