i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
