it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
