all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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