I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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