We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
