We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
