So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
