shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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