i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Congratulations! We have a period
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