all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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