you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
