Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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