Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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