My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
