I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
