I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
