How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
