I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
