I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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