i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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