Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
