dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
