But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You made out with two different species that night
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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