So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
