i think i have herpe
just one?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
