Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
