He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
