I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
