Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
