I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
