I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
