You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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