dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
