This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
