the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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