someone get that fucking seahorse.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
