I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
