Me too!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Two words: blizzard sex
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
