you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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