It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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