The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
