READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
