Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
